Mindful Mornings

I recently read that people who habitually make their bed every morning report to be happier on average than those who don’t engage in this seemingly trivial task. Pseudoscience it may be, but it got me thinking. Something as simple as making your bed in the morning has a number of advantages.

Firstly, it focuses the mind on one of the first tasks of the day. Maybe your process involves cushions and throws that layer up your bed; the daily repetition of neatly lining them into place offers a momentary pause before the day begins. A moment of mindfulness before you’ve even had your breakfast. And later when you return home it is to a space that is neat and orderly, avoiding stress responses to an unsightly or messy bedroom.

At a deeper level I am a big believer that in life you make your own bed. Our happiness is largely crafted by us at an individual level. Yes, countless studies have noted the importance of meaningful and loving relationships as being fundamental to our happiness and well-being. However, ultimately I believe a large part of our happiness is self-determined and self-controlled. We are the ones with the power over our emotions.

In a recent book by Gelong Thubten entitled ‘A Monk's Guide to Happiness: Meditation in the 21st Century’ he describes happiness as a trainable skill. He explores that happiness is a choice but that we often need help in allowing that choice to happen. He observes that too many of us view happiness as the result of goals achieved and aspects of life that might or might not happen. And that ultimately we are looking for lasting happiness in places we won’t find it. But he also notes that you can train your mind to be more at peace with your own thoughts and choose to have a positive outlook; something he describes as a mental independence.

Below is a beautiful extract in which he describes happiness as being in the present.

When we are searching for happiness there is a sense of hunger, of incompleteness; we are wrapped up in the expectation of getting what we want and the fear of not getting it; we feel trapped by uncertainty. We think we can only be happy when our goals are completed, which means that life is always about the future rather than the present moment.

Normally our minds don’t feel free. Thoughts and emotions create a storm inside us, and we easily become their slaves. Moment to moment we might find ourselves in an ‘argument’ with reality, constantly wishing things were different. Happiness involves mastering these thoughts and emotions and embracing things just as they are; it means we relax and stop trying to manipulate our circumstances. If we can learn how to rest deeply in the present moment, even when facing difficulties, and we train our minds not to judge, we can discover within us a tremendous source of happiness and satisfaction.  

His recommended methods for training our thoughts to be more positive and present are mindfulness and meditation, which he teaches across the world to everyone from employees at Google to primary school children. He emphasises that these practices are fundamentally about stillness and breathing. He says that there is a common misconception that when your mind wanders during these practices that people can feel like they have failed, which he notes is simply not the case. He advises that when the mind wanders all we have to do is simply bring our focus back to our breathing.

Whilst it could be dismissed as a meaningless and insignificant task in our day, perhaps there is something in mindfully making our beds each morning. A rising ritual and discipline that allows us to gather our thoughts, or better still be free from thoughts or worries as we take care to focus on this first simple task at the dawn of our day. And while this alone will not bring us all the happiness we desire; as we begin our day it doesn’t seem like a bad place to start.

‘A Monk's Guide to Happiness: Meditation in the 21st Century’ - available here on amazon